Practicing 💪🏼

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash.

My favorite artist once said  

“What comes first, peace or the paper?

Before I had a piece of paper,

Peace was in my favor”

So practicing pieces allows me to permeate poetry purposefully 

Then I questioned what were favors

And started to look at everyone as traitors

Glorified the wrong images and thought they were my saviors

People smiling in my face while taking advantage of me

Spending money unnecessarily 

Thinking I was stable mentally

Breakdown once I got to an empty home

Then realizing I was truly alone

Isolating cuz I had put up this facade

This image of happy-go-lucky 

Everything is fine when in reality

I began to want the light to dim

The sun to set on this computer sim

Cuz that ache of loneliness became so great

I no longer knew how to make it dissipate

Nor could I differentiate how to navigate 

Social events without taking more than four sips

Of cocktails that made me dip 

in and out of my many personas

Cuz I viewed everyone as piranhas 

Taking a bite out of me but not really getting to know me

Shittttt, in all honestly maybe none of you actual know how to say my real name

Not a slight at you, just a shame 

Cuz the arms length kept everyone at 

400 meters since high school

Sorry, I ran track

So this arms length feels more like a lap

And the name would only distract

From your interest in me

If you could truly see

This titanic size weight on my back

The pressure and how I have managed these cracks 

While looking for a calm sea or harbor

To let down this guard or heavy armor

So when my favorite artist said 

:What comes first, peace or the paper?

Before I had a piece of paper,

Peace was in my favor”

I think

Practicing pieces allows me to permeate poetry purposefully

to find peace and favor

to one day

become my own true savior.